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I Still Want a ‘Reunion’ Reunion

December 6, 2011

For over half a decade, one question has plagued me more than any other: Who killed Samantha Carlton?

This is where you probably think to yourself Samantha who? (Note: Not a reference to the canceled Christina Applegate show).

Samantha Carlton was a character on my much beloved Reunion (RIP). The show premiered in late 2005 and was canceled after a measly nine episodes in early 2006. Needless to say, Reunion was amazing. It was my Harper’s Island before Harper’s Island existed.

The premise is simply (kind of). The series portrayed the lives of six high school friends over twenty years with each episode following one year in their lives beginning with their high school graduation in 1986. At the same time, there was also a storyline set in the present day where a detective investigated the murder of one of the friends.

In the fifth episode it was revealed that the murder victim was Sam who had been married to Craig, now a politician who was pretending to need a wheelchair — Why? Ask the people at FOX since they cancelled it before I could ever find out. Sam also had an affair with Will, Craig’s best friend who went to jail because he took the fall for Craig’s drunk driving accident, a decision which ruined Will’s life forever and lead him to suffer through an army stint in Kuwait, have an affair with his dead friend’s sister and work as a mole for the FBI to bring down a family friend. Oh, and Will and Sam had a secret lovechild, Amy, who ends up being nannied by Sam’s best friend as part of an elaborate scheme. At once point, Sam becomes addicted to stimulants and accidentally kills a woman. In addition, her friend Jenna is pretty much a professional beard for a bit, too.

The point is, Reunion was basically a giant, messy, hard-to-follow soap opera with twists and turns that put M. Night Shyamalan to shame. It was great.

The only problem is, I was apparently only one of ten people in the entire universe to give a fuck about this glorious piece of television history so it got cancelled before I could find out who the nefarious murderer was (and why Craig faked being paralyzed — besides the parking, obviously. For some reason, that plot point still really bothers me).

Summaries have been released for episodes 10-13 but they’re really no help. According to sources, the killer was originally Sam and Will’s daughter Amy who accidentally shot Sam during a scuffle with an intruder. This was then updated to have the killer be Craig’s dad who, upon discovering Sam still breathing, suffocated her because of the affair with Will twenty years ago. Talk about holding a grudge.

But if the episode summaries posted online are correct, then Amy couldn’t be the shooter since it was revealed in Episode 13 that she died in a fire. So what the fuck, world?

Want to know the worst part about this whole affair? Only one out of the six main cast members has done anything worth watching in the past six years. Want to know what’s even worse than that? I’m referring to Chyler Leigh (Clara) on Grey’s Anatomy, which is barely a step up from her stint on That 80s Show nowadays.

Sean Faris (Craig) was on a few episodes of The Vampire Diaries, which would have been great had he not been killed off. Will Estes (Will) is on Blue Bloods (Do I look like your middle-aunt? No thank you). Dave Annable (Aaron) did Brothers & Sisters which was supposed to be okay, but also got canceled. Amanda Righetti (Jenna) is on The Mentalist, which is the Magneto to my Professor X (i.e.: Fuck that shit. Psych for life!). Alexa Davalos (Sam) did Defiance which is supposed to be good, but I’m not really one to go out of me way to watch something that is going to make me hate my life for 137 minutes.

To sum it up, I still love you Reunion, even if I never get to see you again.

So thank you, Internet, for letting me get that off my chest. I’ve been carrying this burden for six long years now and I feel as though my weight has been lessened, if even by the smallest amount. And now that I know Will Estes is in Williamsburg, I will creep out for him until we meet when I will finally get my chance to ask “Who the fuck killed Sam and why the fuck was Craig in a wheelchair when he could walk?!”

As my present to those of you who have stuck with me through this troubling time, here is a gallery featuring the boys from Reunion using only pictures that come up when you Google their name and the word “gay.”

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Kyle permalink
    December 7, 2011 4:11 pm

    Dude, Will Estes was straight up Tiger Beat famous for a second back in the 90s. Wasn’t he in that movie about a gorilla?

    • sadiegennis permalink*
      December 7, 2011 4:27 pm

      Maybe? All I know was he was in Secret World of Alex Mack. That’s all anyone really needs to know anyways.

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