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My 10 Favorite Canadians

December 7, 2011

After meeting so many Canucks while abroad, I was surprised to discover my  passion for the good ol’ folks of Canada, eh. So much so, that my friends and I started the game Canadian, I Win. The rules are simple: anytime you see something or someone Canadian you call “Canadian, I win.” As a result, I soon learned everything/everyone to have ever come out of Canada.

Here in America, we like to hate on Canadians as a bunch of pussybitch losers who are afraid of the dark. I’m just here to prove these stereotypes wrong with ten — possibly the only ten — exceptions to this Canadians Suck rule.

10. Brendan Fehr

I didn’t even watch Roswell when it was on The WB way back when but Sarah got me hooked a few years ago and now I own the freaking boxed set. While the protagonist Max Evans is totally lame, his orphan bestie Michael Guerin is a conspiracy theorist trash talker, honeycomb monster look-a-like, peach Snapple loving sex-pot. Plus, he lives in a trailer in the beginning of the series. Just my type.

9. Michael Bublé

Oh, the Bubs. You gotta love him. Or apparently not since, while reading his entire Wikipedia page out loud, my roommates gave me some pretty serious “Shut the fuck up” vibes. You should have seen them when I said I couldn’t wait to watch A Bublé Christmas tomorrow online. I don’t care what they say. Michael Bublé is great. Why? I don’t know. But sometimes I still shed a tear for him and Emily Blunt. Then again, I also cried in Air Bud so it probably doesn’t mean anything.

8. Seth Rogen

Seth Rogen is so many things I love: a chubby (almost)giant, Canadian, nerdy and Jewish — boy, is he Jewish. His parents met at a kibbutz and when he was twelve he did stand-up comedy at bar mitzvahs. Be still my beating heart.

7. Joshua Jackson

The Mighty Ducks and Dawson’s Creek. ‘Nuf said. Plus, how much more Canadian can you be than getting arrested at a hockey game for being drunk and disorderly?

6. Victor Garber

Jack Bristow was ranked #29 in TV Guide’s list of 50 Greatest Dad’s of All Time in 2004. For me, he’d be #2 (after Coach Taylor, obviously). Though, he wouldn’t rank too high on my list of Greatest Ship Captains of All Time, if you know what I mean.

If you don’t: That was a Titanic reference.

5. Ryan Gosling

Ryan Gosling is a classic. From Hey Girl to his ridiculous dog, to breaking up street fights, he’s just all around great. Plus, when he talks it kind of sounds like his tonsils are too big for his throat which always makes me laugh.

4. Jon Lajoie

Nick Kroll might be my favorite character on The League (need I say more?) but Jon Lajoie is hands down my favorite Canadian comedy-rapper-singer-Internet celebrity. Plus, he’s French-Canadian and I’ve always wanted to sleep with one of those — and by always, I mean since February. I got in the habit of telling the two Canadians I’ve been with since then that they were French-Canadians in the hopes it would become true. It got to the point where I said it so much they each eventually slipped and at least once called themselves French-Canadian, too. Result!

3. Will Arnett

My feelings towards Will Arnett were never sexual and always more of an “I want to have dinner at the Arnett-Poehler household” thing (hence the picture). But lately, Will’s been turning up the heat on Up All Night and I’m pretty sure it’s because, for the first time on TV, he’s letting his Canadian out.

If there would be an Up All Night drinking game one rule would have to be “Drink everytime Will Arnett wears his Toronto Maple Leafs shirt or mentions hockey.” You could probably get drunk off that rule alone. And I wouldn’t mind being drunk and alone with Will Arnett if you catch my drift…

2. Taylor Kitsch

Riiiggggsss! That’s what Taylor Kitsch will always be to me — well, that or 33. What can I say? Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!

But really, I have nothing else to say about Taylor. He’s just really, really hot. Especially with that Southern drawl.

1. Jay Baruchel

My love for Jay Baruchel began ten years ago in Undeclared and has only grown since. I love him so much that I begged everyone I knew to see The Sorcerer’s Apprentice with me (Spoiler alert: they didn’t).

I don’t care if he still lives in Montreal’s Notre-Dame-de-Grâce neighborhood (NDG)— or as Benjy just informed me: DG, as in “Da Ghetto.” I would live in Winnipeg to be with Jay. (See Jay, if you’re reading this, I’m practically Canadian! Marry me instead of your super cool fiancé!)

Jay’s like my dream (Canadian) come true: nerdy, Jew-ish and kind of trashy. (His tattoos include a Celtic cross, his mother’s maiden name and….drumroll please…a red maple leaf! That’s true love right there.)

Honorable Mention:  Mike Lobel

No Canadian list can be without its Degrassi mention, so here it is:

He may have given Emma gonorrhea, but Jay Hogart stole my heart anyways. He was so wonderfully trashy that it’s almost like we were made for each other. Plus, I don’t think it’s a big secret that if I were one of the (original) female characters on Degrassi: The Next Generation, I’d be Manny Santos so we totally are soulmates.  If CTV says so, it must be true.

Note: Some of you may note that Justin Bieber is not only the list. Shocking, I know. The reason for this is: I don’t have a crush on Biebs, I have Bieber Fever. It’s like a disease. It’s just out of my control.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Kyle permalink
    December 7, 2011 4:02 pm

    I’ve noticed that Drake is absent from this list and I say brava, ma’am. Brava.

  2. benjy permalink
    December 8, 2011 10:39 pm

    If you REALLY loved canadians, you would have spelled it “favoUrite” ;)

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