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10 Simple Phrases Ruined by TV

April 16, 2012

Catchphrases are great, but no one likes that guy at the party who turns every other sentence into a television quote-off. Here are the top 10 everyday phrases that we all fall prey to turning into little inside jokes for our TV fan friends (or most often, just ourselves):

Laguna Beach: “Stephen”

I don’t think one television show has ever sparked so much hatred from a group of people sharing a name as Laguna Beach did once Kristin Cavallari‘s infamous whine took hold of the teenage psyche. Now, every 20-something girl can’t help herself from calling out “Ste-PHEN!” any time around she’s people with that name. Especially when drunk. So boys named Stephen, stay away from me Thursday-Tuesdays if you want to avoid this.

(Note: I somehow can’t find a video mash-up of Kristin saying “Ste-PHEN!” so I embedded the LB episode where her and Stephen fight in Cabo instead. It’s the original “prostitution whore“)

Arrested Development: “Her?”

Out of all the amazing AD quotes, this is definitely the one I find myself quoting an obnoxious amount. You see a rather bland girl your roommate thinks is cute: “Her?” You meet your friend’s ex who still has him on the hook: “Her?” You see pretty much girl and somehow the phrase just comes out on its own.

Friends: “We were on a break!”

We’ve all been there. Your relationship status is a little ambiguous. You aren’t really sure of the rules. You get a little drunk, make a few mistakes. Soon you find yourself defending your actions to your friends and that pseudo-significant other of yours left and right. But trust me, nothing makes your excuses seem less earnest than accidentally quoting a 90s sitcom and then giggling profusely once you realize it.

Project Runway: “Make it work”

I love Tim Gunn. Who doesn’t? But I kind of hate “Make it work.” I think this stems from both its easy quotability and the impossibility of impersonation. There’s just no good way to show you’re being Tim Gunn, so when the quote slips out you just kind of look like a bossy jackass.

30 Rock: “Somebody bring me some ham!”

It might trouble some of you to know how often I say this in my life. I love ham — all pig products really (sorry, Jewish side of my family!). Thanks to 30 Rock, now every time I get a craving for it I find myself singing out obnoxiously loud and waving around jazz hands. I’m a real treat to be around.

Parks and Rec: “Chicken Parmesan”

While I don’t often find myself discussing chicken parmesan, if I ever did there’s no doubt in my mind it would immediately be followed up by my exclaiming “Chickie-chickie parm-parm.” This pattern really goes along with all Tom Haverfoods. And if you don’t know what that is, there’s something wrong with you and you need to watch the video right now.

Seinfeld: “No soup for you”

I’m not the biggest soup fan, so when it’s offered to me I tend to turn it down. Too many times my refusal has sparked the classic Soup Nazi reenactment. I just don’t like soup! I don’t want to talk about and I definitely don’t want to quote TV about it. In those moments, I think I understand the way the Stephens of the world feel about Laguna Beach.

How I Met Your Mother: “What up!”

One of my roommates goes through phases where he becomes absolutely obsessed with a singular TV show. It influences the way he acts, the way he dresses, the bars he goes to, and especially the way he talks. While he’s half a decade behind, he finally discovered HIMYM this year and (of course) wants to be Barney. While I love Old Swarls, I really could refrain from the constant “What up”/high-five combos.

Party Down: “Are we having fun yet?”

Some nights are just lame, but nothing picks up a boring gathering like quoting a cancelled TV show (Note: this is, in fact, not true). I usually just end up sounding like a douche who everyone stares at like “Why the fuck did this bitch start talking in weird voices?” because they were all too busy jacking off to Mad Men to watch Party Down.

Game of Thrones: “Winter is coming”

This one is seasonal and it’ll be a few months again before it accidentally starts being slipped into casual conversation, but man — after “Shots?” and “Sadie, no one wants to hear that,” “Winter is coming” was probably the most used phrase in my apartment this year.

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