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One Direction’s Zayn Malik Loves Humping

July 23, 2012

I love Zayn Malik. He’s like the Muslim Zac Efron (and I love me some Zac Efron)! Whenever I see Zayn’s sexy lil babe face I wish I was thirteen again so I could be a full-on One Direction fangirl. I’m talking binders on binders covered in “Mrs. Sadie Malik” and “S <3s Z 4eva!” (complete with glitter gel pen hearts, of course). But while I can handle being a 22-year old in love with a boy bander, even I’m ashamed of the amount of pleasure I get out of these gifs of Zayn humping, thrusting and booty popping.


Does this make me a creep? Or just a cougar?

Creep?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

I was really worried after I spent two hours trolling on Tumblr that he’d turn out to be 15 or something so, like any good journalist, I turned to Wikipedia to make sure I wasn’t being a total perv. That’s when I came across the ultimate good news/bad news.

Good news: Zayn’s 19.

LEGAL, BABY!

Bad News: Zayn has a girlfriend.

My love tank is empty

I’ve decided to console myself with the fact that, since Zayn is 19, this current relationship will probably be over any minute, opening up time for me and Zayn to connect “romantically.”

And if there’s one thing Zayn is trying to tell the world with all these sexy dance moves, it’s simple:

Zayn Malik approves this message:

Too bad, even if he does dump that broad I’ll still have his bandmates to compete with.

But what can I say? I like my boys nice and gay!

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One Comment leave one →
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