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RIP Love: Grieving the Poehler-Arnett Divorce

September 7, 2012

Throw out your lingerie and get five cats, because you’re just going to die alone anyways. What brought me to this desolate conclusion? Why, the death of love and all that is good in the world: the divorce of Amy Poehler and Will Arnett! I’ve already been feeling pretty down this week, so tonight I canceled my plans and came home to relax and recuperate (aka watch SYTYCD and hang out on the Internet), but little did I know what horror was waiting for me on the World Wide Web…

Here’s a brief timeline of my experience since first hearing of this tragedy.

I first see the news on Twitter

But I immediately write it off

Just in case, I Google it and the truth begins to hit

First came shock

Then the anger

Quickly followed by tears

And more anger

Then contacting everyone I know so they can share my pain

My attempt to cook only proves I’m not ready to be a functioning adult

But I find a suitable solution

Then my ex texts and says he never really liked Amy Poehler anyways (jerk)

Another friend texts and asks why I’m not going out tonight

But they can trivialize my pain as much as they want because I just brush off the haters

And go back to grieving from now until eternity

RIP Poehler-Arnett. You gave me faith in love, then took it away. But really, I hope you guys are happier now and stay friends (though, I will hold this against you forever).

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. September 7, 2012 1:53 am

    Sadie. You are hilarious, and I love you for this post. I grieve with you. I get sad any time a couple splits, but this couple?! NO! I’m still in denial. I’m gonna wait until they come out and are all like “april fools in september ya’ll!”.

    (On a completely unrelated note there are two doctor who gifs in your post and i’m obsessed with that show right now so I’d really like it if you liked it too:) Have you seen it?)

    • sadiegennis permalink*
      September 7, 2012 1:56 am

      Oh my god! Love Doctor Who sooooo much! Asylum of the Daleks was THE SHIT

      • September 7, 2012 2:10 am

        finallyyyy I know someone who watches doctor who! I haven’t seen the new season yet because i’m just recently starting Matt Smith’s seasons on netflix (GREAT ways to waste evenings!).

        Speaking of grief, I can’t quite get over the loss of david tenannt. I loooved him. He’s my fictional character crush of the moment.

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